


Team Bonding but it's Karaoke, but it's a Cursed Mashup

by faroresson



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Do I care? Deeply, Except this one!, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Is this in character? I don't know, It's an awkward blend of Pre Worms fun and Post Worms Music, Jon is out of touch with memes, Karaoke, What if season one happened like 4 months later than it did? This probably, also Martin and Jon aren't together YET but Martin is very much Feeling Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faroresson/pseuds/faroresson
Summary: In the wake of the worms, paranoia and corpses of S1 and S2, what if... what if the timeline lined up with the creation of a very blessed cursed mashup and what if at the weekly pub stint, the Archival Gang did something fun for the sake of taking their minds off of everything. What if there was no horror for like two days.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James, Martin Blackwood & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James/Tim Stoker, Tim Stoker & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Kudos: 27





	Team Bonding but it's Karaoke, but it's a Cursed Mashup

Sunday night was hardly the best time to visit a pub when you work a nine to five job, but it’s a holiday weekend. So, that’s where the Magnus Institute archival staff found themselves today. The pub was busy without being crowded patrons milling about passively with their drinks and meals.

Sasha was in the midst of chugging back the last of her drink when she was struck with a genius idea, “We should do karaoke!”

Tim and Martin raised their glasses in toast and cheered, while Jon tried to sink into his seat. The Archivist proceeded to fill his mouth with fries from the table’s appetizer as an act of petty defiance. 

“Oh come on, Boss! Don’t look so put out,” Tim laughed, “we didn’t even ask you to participate, yet.” Tim then turned away from Jon to settle into the debate between Sasha and Martin about the details of their performance. Jon continued to pout, though he’d vehemently deny it if confronted. He didn’t even want to go out drinking in the first place, and he wanted to make a fool of himself tripping over lyrics to a song he didn’t know in public even less. Jon took a sip of his water, followed by a hefty swallow of his cider as he slumped against the wall. Upon hearing Tim say “Emo Carly Rae Jepson,” he actively began ignoring his assistants.

It wasn’t long before the excited chattering of the archival assistants began to blend in with the white noise of the pub’s atmosphere. Less time for the lights to grow hazy and the moving colours of the people milling about to grow more and more unfocused until the world was a mostly silent blackness.

Tim slammed his cup of… something orange and red -a tequila sunrise, maybe?- down on the table loudly. The resounding sound that was between a clink and a thud awoke Jon with a start.

“Alright, it’s decided!” Sasha declared, “Tim you get it started up, I’ll deal with our empty cups and Martin?” The man in question turned to Sasha, a few fries between his teeth,

“Yeah?”

“You can sit tight for two seconds, or go help Tim. Up to you.”

Sasha and Tim left the booth, leaving Martin and Jon to sit and face each other awkwardly as two colleagues with a strained and passive aggressive working relationship are wont to do. Martin took to finishing off his beer and refusing to make eye contact. Jon continued to edge the line of awake and asleep, letting his around five years of inconsistent and restless sleep catch up on him. Just as he started to drift off again, Martin sighed,

“Jon, you don’t have to pretend to be black out drunk.” he says a touch dejectedly, “we aren’t, we won’t force you to play along.”

Jon’s face twitched into a grimace for a second before he managed to crack an eye open to peer at Martin.

“It’s just…” Martin stuttered, “look. We’re glad we got you out of the Archives at all! And that you’re willing to spend some time with us after all that happened... that’s good enough.” his little speech was punctuated with his signature awkward laughs.

Suddenly, Martin’s head whipped to the left, Jon sat up and followed his gaze. Sasha and Tim were frantically beckoning for Martin to join them. “Well, that’s my cue, save some food for the rest of us, okay?” There’s a pause, then suddenly Martin’s doubling back, his face red from embarrassment, “Not that you shouldn’t eat, mind you! I just-”

“Just go, Martin it’s fine.” Jon interrupted, “I know what you mean, I’ll… behave.” Jon waived his hand dismissively and Martin half jogged to where the mic setup was.

Jon settled himself against the wall again, hoping that if he dozed off properly he’d get to go home. His rest lasted about two seconds, the music he was hearing was peppy and upbeat, which wasn’t a problem in and of itself… The problem was the lyrics. Sasha’s voice filled the pub beautifully but her song was just a little too familiar from Jon’s college days. When Tim joined in there were vivid flashbacks to coloured eyeliner, leather vests and guitars. They were using the wrong music. Or singing the wrong song. Now that he’s paying attention, Jon can see all three of his assistants grinning like fools into their microphones.

It takes Martin joining, with yet another song on top of the ones being sung presently -and one that Jon had heard before but didn’t really know- for everything to click into place.

Those bastards! 

The other patrons at the bar seemed enraptured with the nonsense at the little stage set up. Some folks at the tables looked anywhere between disgusted and intrigued, while others appeared on the brink of laughter and tears… or tears… and slash or tears.

Jon was furious, but not in an angry way. He was more upset that he didn’t listen more carefully to the choice in song. It’s not that he wanted to put himself out there with his assistants, but he wanted to be included at least a little! Regardless of the Mortifying Ideal of being Seen, of course. All lamenting aside, Jon knew this particular monstrosity for reasons he blames Tim for exclusively, as much as the song reminded him of Georgie. Jon took a breath to steel himself and he marched up to join his friends. Staff, he corrected mentally. No, he corrected again, they’re friends outside of the Archives. Trusting again is going to be hard.

He was early for what he wanted to do, but the wide eyes from his assistants was all he needed to commit. The presence of a fourth microphone made the shock seem a touch out of place. Nevertheless, Jon knew his chance was coming soon by how hard Sasha and Martin were going through the bridge, Tim was going equally as hard -at what only drunk people call dancing.

Jon managed his cue in perfect time, letting the liquor in his veins throw him back to 2006 or so.

Tim and Sasha could barely continue on around their tipsy grins and unrestrained giggling. And if Martin was half a breath late from astonishment, well, nobody seemed to care.

They finished their song with a flourish and the pub erupted with applause. It was like a scene from a movie, or a braggy post online. Sasha was the first to catch her breath and make her way back to the booth. She said she was beat and that it’d be best for her to go home. Tim made a show of begging her to stay for one more drink, a dance, anything. He relented before long, pressed a kiss to her temple and waved goodbye.

Jon and Martin were still heaving shallow breaths between empty chatter and giggles when Tim dropped back into his place in the booth beside Jon. “That. Was. Awesome!” Tim cheered, “Wow, Bossman, I thought you were allergic to fun things.”

Jon made a face at Tim -one that on the outside was the same displeased expression Jon always had painted across his face, but you could tell this one was also offended, if a little hurt - that was quickly hidden behind a mug of cider. “Just because I say we should be professional at work,” he inhales sharply, “doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy things.”

Tim rolls his eyes, “Yeah but that was something else! You enjoyed doing something with people!”

Martin nodded sagely, “True enough,” he says surely, then “Though I… I um, I didn’t know you could sing, Jon.” He had said it so softly, staring purposely at the half empty glass of water on the table.

Tim scoffs, “The singing itself isn’t important, Martin! The fact that this guy,” he gestures dramatically to Jon, “the guy who reads biographies for fun, knows the lyrics to All Star!”

“I grew up in the 90s Tim, I’m not that old!” Jon protests

Both Tim and Martin laugh at that, the latter much more boisterously, “But, that doesn’t mean you’re caught up! Like I said, biographies for fun!”

“And overtime work,” Martin adds, his tone light but his expression tense.

Tim continues gesturing emphatically, “See?! Not to mention Smash Mouth wasn’t popular in England in the 90s, they barely left the States.” he explains between swigs of his and Sasha’s leftover drinks.

There was a beat, then, “I mean… we did binge a bunch of late 90s early 2000s movies not too long ago,” Martin says, “All Star’s in Shrek.”

Jon felt uncomfortably seen and tried to hide his grimace with fries that have long since gone cold and soggy.

Tim threw his arm around Jon’s shoulders and leaned on him theatrically, “Did you google the Shrek song, Boss? Did you find the opening gag so funny you had to hear the rest of the song?” his tone was teasing and light-hearted. Yet hearing it made Jon feel even more uncomfortably called out and he sunk out of Tim’s grasp and further into the seat. He almost looked to Martin for a defense. Almost. And considering he was maybe a foot or two from hiding on the floor under the table, stuck between Tim and a wall, his escape options are pretty slim. Maybe Sasha had the right idea in going home.

“It is a banger though,” Martin inputs, trying to be helpful.

Tim raised his now empty glass in mock toast, “You’re right on that count Marto, definitely a banger.”

Martin and Tim nodded at each other while Jon tried to down the last of his lukewarm water. Then Martin took a glance at his watch, it read 1:17, and suddenly he was scrambling for his coat. “Sorry guys,” he said frantically, “I have to visit my mother in like eight hours and I need to get at least a solid four hour nap in first!” and with that, he was gone.

It wasn’t much longer before Tim and Jon parted ways as well.

Jon didn’t know what to expect, coming into the Archives on Tuesday. That wasn’t quite correct, he didn’t think there’d be anything new to expect at all. But when TIm burst into his office shouting “Some… BODY” he knew he was in for a day.

Or so he thought.

After that first incident, the only thing that changed was occasionally the music playing in the Archives where the assistants worked diligently on their emails and filing would be horrible mishmashes of popular songs played just loud enough for Jon to hear through his ajar office door. It wasn’t all bad, the cheery beats of pop music made some of the more tedious paperwork bearable. Though there was one thing that bugged Jon, he heard Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams” but something seemed off about it. It was played twice throughout the morning, once very early and it sounded fine but the second time, just around lunch sounded like it was missing something. So, over a bowl of microwaved curry and a mug of tea from Martin, Jon steeled his resolve once more and made a decision, one that he was sure he’d regret:

Jon was going to ask what was up with Sweet Dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> No, I have nothing to say for myself. I wrote this in one sitting at work a little while ago and I was bullied into posting by my roommate. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Here's the link to what I thought would be funny to paint with TMA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EjL6LLJG6Q


End file.
